January 2011
94 posts
December 2010
81 posts
Be Careful This New Year's Eve
fakescience:
i want to go far away
and sit somewhere, undisturbed
and figure things out.
please.
Day 17:
(childhood)
I’m not sure where you are now or how you’ve changed since we were friends, but you were the one smile amidst a sea of frowns and disapproval.
Thanks for saving me.
-mello
no, :( don’t expect me to listen to you when all you talk about is how much you hate everyone and how you never wanted us in the first place because your life would have been better.
unnecessary.
“Sometimes, I feel like I’m not solid. I’m hollow; there’s nothing behind my...”
– S. Plath (via femoral)
Day 16:
(someone out of the country)
why are all my letters so angry?
I’m trying to think of some redeeming qualities in all of you, but all I hear are echoes of shouting through speaker phone and
angry red tears pounding through cigarette smoke and glasses still fuming from the rum and whiskey.
I remember a time when I wanted to fix things
fix everything
but that’s when I thought words...
Day 15:
(miss the most) I’m not sure if you are real or not.
*if you were real or not.
maybe I’m misremembering memories of a sort of
‘second family’.
i don’t know.
:(
well, if you ever did exist in the way I think
you certainly don’t anymore.
love, mello
Day 14:
Maybe we’re in the process of drifting, under the guise of sailing, the trickery of sunlight on water splashes smiles across your face but I’m a little lost. I took lead, captain’s hat firmly pulled down on my head and you would laugh since I was clearly unqualified it was okay though because it was pretend, at one point. I don’t know how we ended up in the middle of the...
Day 13:
I don’t know which words are true, which are false.
But if I could take back all 18 years, I would.
Just tell me then if you would be happy.
:(
I’m sorry.
mello
I feel like there are certain things that parents and children should compromise on.
But other things…absolutely not.
Don’t hide the real reason and hold a grudge, okay?
If you’d just told us what was going on, or told me at least, I know I could’ve convinced my siblings otherwise.
Instead you pretend there’s nothing you can do, and you guilt-trip us later.
Not...
i love you more than words can describe.
me: (v o0 - ) > help me.
Gaurav: (reassemble) |voov|
me: ...
Gaurav: hooray! ....^|oo|^ lemon is complete |oo(|oo)
me: why....did you do this --> |voov|
Gaurav: that's me working
Day 12:
Dear You,
I hate that you hurt me the most, because you are not a very important person to me, nor were you at the time. I wonder where your emotions are. My current theory is that they are huddled at the bottom of some deep black abyss (called your soul), cowering beneath a slight shelter of twigs and leaves wishing the ground weren’t so damp with malice, so they could at least attempt to...
Day 11:
What did you do? How did people find out? Why didn’t you stand up for yourself?
If you see them up there with you, (I’m assuming a Judeo-Christian afterlife since I’m not sure how to phrase anything else…) tell them all to come down and talk and stay a little while. Because I don’t think I have anything of use to say to you, but I know my parents do. So come back,...
Day 10:
I wish we talked more.
You used to be sunshine and happiness and oodles and oodles of non-sequitur humor in giggling fits that annoyed all the little middle school boys, all stemming from a joke book keychained to your jeans pocket.
Dinosaurs. Poefry. Babar. Scaline Triangle. Saran Wrap Solar Boxes. Mr. Ezekiel. “Twelve Eyes”. Friendship Bracelets. Scrapbooks. Birthday Cupcakes....
Day 9:
I’ve been waiting for you.
I’ve heard rumors everywhere, but I’m sick of rumors. Grapevines are thick and slick with the saliva of tongues coarse and waiting to judge. I want no judge. I want to know you.
But I’m not really a believer. And as far as I’ve seen, conversations with you tend to be a little one-sided. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you’re...
i.
hope i never take you for granted.
do you know how much i need you?
you make me want to explode into small bits of confetti and happiness and love.
…(><)
someday, you’re going to see that you’re too awesome for me.
or that i cry too much for you.
or something.
i don’t know.
but for now, you should sweep me up
and carry me with you
in a jar
labeled,
...
